Rankings | Lachie Graham's Chocolate Milk Reviews

Hall of Fame

These are the best of the best

My all-time favourite. Unfortunately discontinued. Sold 2022-ish.

Brownes Dairy
'Gold'

There are two chocolate milks in New Zealand that are debated to be 'the best'. I don't remember trying the other one (Lewis Road Creamery), so this one is my winner.

Puhoi Valley
'Real Chocolate'

Not much to say they just nailed this one.

OAK
'Chocolate'

A special edition for Christmas 2022, rereleased a year later with normal packaging. Discontinued in 2024. The colder it was, the better it tasted.

OAK
'Choc Mint'

A bit different taste and texture wise to OAK, but just as good. Slightly harder to find though.

Norco
'Chocolate'

Found this one at a Woolies in rural Victoria. Only 2 ingredients: milk, and Belgian chocolate. A little lacking in the strength department, but man did it taste good.

Bethune Lane Dairy
'Belgian Chocolate + Milk'

As far as I can tell this tastes identical to the one with lactose in it. And no, I haven't tried them side-by-side. Yet.

OAK
'Lactose Free Chocolate'

Some kind of chocolate + caramel. Strong flavour which is good. Initially I put this in the good tier but I've been buying it so much I felt it deserved a promotion.

OAK
'Rolo'

Good

These get my seal of approval. They're good. I recommend them.

This one is very close to being Hall of Fame tier. It's really good. You should try it.

Pauls
'Zymil Chocolate'

Nedd makes a good milk. A little expensive compared to others, and doesn't go on special that often. Very rich and creamy, almost a dark chocolate flavour.

Nedd's
'Choccy Milk'

Alright, so if you come across a 500mL bottle of OAK, that means it's the UHT version. I.e. they've heated the milk to ultra-high temperatures (UHT) to make it storable at room temp. Outside of that, this is identical to a normal OAK.

OAK
'Chocolate 500mL'

Seems to only be available in QLD. Doesn't really taste like lime, just kind of tastes like sweetened milk. Probably not likely to be everyones favourite but I'm a big fan.

Breaka
'Lime'

Decent as far as vanilla flavoured milks go. Taste isn't perfect, probably because of the whole "healthy" thing, but it's good.

Rokeby
'Vanilla Wafer'

You can find Nippy's milks at small, independent grocery stores. I've had choc honeycomb milks in the past but never just plain honeycomb. Tastes great. They've really nailed it with the level of sweetness and the texture.

Nippy's
'Iced Honeycomb'

Got this one from a Harris Farm. Really nice, only ingredients are milk, sugar, cocoa, and vanilla. Tastes like a iced chocolate, kind of like Dairy Farmers' "Classic" chocolate milk.

The Little Big Dairy Co
'Chocolate'

Close enough, welcome back OAK Choc Mint. This one was originally released in 2020 and now rereleased in 2025. It's not quite the same as the choc mint you see up in the hall of fame, but still pretty good if you're an enjoyer of mint.

OAK
'Peppermint Crisp'

In one word: sweet.
In more words: mostly a strawberry flavour, but not an artificial one. Very sweet, almost sickly but not quite. Would buy again.

Pauls
'Plus+ Protein Summer Berries'

I'm always surprised by how good this one is. I expect it to taste cheap, but nah it's good.

Big M
'Original Chocolate'

Tastes like a banana lolly, but slightly toned down. Very nice. Doesn't feel like they had to sacrifice on the flavour to make it healthy. I'll probably stick to chocolate though.

Pauls
'Plus+ Protein Banana & Honey'

Mostly just a banana flavoured milk, so like the others it tastes like a banana lolly. Pretty toned down and inoffensive. You can maybe taste the caramel if you focus really hard but that might be placebo.

Nedd's
'Nana Caramel'

I don't know why this one is so much better than the normal Rokeby Chocolate, but it is.

Rokeby
'Choc Honeycomb'

The best strawberry flavoured milk.

Dairy Farmers
'Classic Strawberry'

Salty.
Which is weird at first, but you get used to it. I like.

OAK
'PLUS Salted Caramel'

I'm a big fan of milkybar chocolate, so a little dissapointed this isn't ranking higher. Flavour is fine, just not strong enough.

OAK
'Milkybar'

The best chocolate milk I found in Hawaii. Wish it were full cream milk. Why do they always have to be healthy man.

Darigold
'Old Fashioned Chocolate'

Somehow this one is better that the OAK PLUS chocolate and the normal OAK vanilla. I just don't understand.

OAK
'PLUS Vanilla'

Bold caramel flavour with a strong saltiness to it. This is the kind of thing OAK acts like it makes. Not a fan of the heavy use of artificial sweetener but the taste is very good.

Pokemon/Inside Out
'Salted Caramel'

The right amount of sweetness, and a good strawberry flavour. This is how it should be done.

Breaka
'Strawberry'

Singapore's best normal chocolate.

Magnolia
'Chocolate'

The thing with cookies and cream icecream is that it's just a cream flavoured icecream with cookie pieces. You can't get that same effect in a chocolate milk. So you're left with a cream flavoured milk.

Magnolia
'Cookies & Cream'

Discontinued. Was pretty good.

OAK
'Violet Crumble'

Supposedly strawberry and raspberry but I can't pick out those individual flavours. Doesn't taste particularly artificial/synthetic which is nice. Will make you feel like you're being healthy.

Dairy Farmers
'Protein Smoothie + Mixed Berry'

Surprisingly pleasant.

Dairy Farmers
'Protein Smoothie + Mango'

Tastes like a banana lolly. Pretty strong, not much wrong with it.

OAK
'Banana'

A weird one. Tasted good though. But yeah, weird.

Dairy Farmers
'Classic Creaming Soda'

"Surprisingly tastes exactly like the rainbow paddle pop. Tastes good." - a text I sent to my brother

OAK
'Paddle Pop Rainbow'

The brand is called Famous how weird is that. Does your kid need a protein shake? Probably not! This mostly tastes good. Mostly.
Also the ingredients list is too long.

Famous
'Kids Protein Shake - Chocolate'

Tasted like a milkshake. Like the kind of thing you'd get from a cafe. Pretty cool.

Breaka
'Chupa Chups Choco & Vanilla'

Tastes like milk + cocoa powder + sugar. And you might say "isn't that what all chocolate milks taste like?"
No. Just this one.

Great Ocean Road
'Chocolate'

Only available around QLD I believe. Tastes like a banana lolly, a little weaker than OAK's banana milk. Still good.

Breaka
'Banana'

Cocoa flavour, not particularly sweet which is refreshing for a drink targeted at children. For some reason the word “smokey” comes to mind to describe the flavour.

Pauls
'Bluey Chocolate'

Probably the least strong of the banana milks. Mild is the word that comes to mind. No real issues though.

Dairy Farmers
'Classic Banana'

Mid

I would only buy these if the good ones are sold out. They're not necessarily bad, just not very good.

I respect the boldness of this one. Very strong. It wants you to know that it's got 3 flavours in there, and you will know. It will make sure of that.

Rokeby
'Banana Honey + Cinnamon'

Very sweet but not very chocolatey. Like imagine theres dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and then "light" chocolate. This would be light chocolate. Addictive taste though, you would like it.

Breaka
'Chocolate'

Very close to being good, but has this weird synthetic taste to it.

OAK
'Strawberry'

There's the faintest taste of honey that I get every third sip or so, but for the most part this is just banana flavoured. The least strong of the banana milks, not enjoyable for some reason.

Dairy Farmers
'Protein Smoothie + Banana Honey'

All of these "no added sugar" milks really need to try adding sugar. It'll make them taste so much better!

OAK
'PLUS Chocolate'

Really weak strawberry, but doesn't necessarily taste bad. Just tastes like sweet milk with the slightest hint of strawberry. I just don't see why you'd want a weak flavoured milk.

Pokemon/Inside Out
'Strawberry'

Barely any vanilla in here, it just tastes like milk.

Dairy Farmers
'Protein Smoothie + Vanilla'

Kind of tastes like the chocolate up&go. If you like those you'll like this.
Also what the hell is a prebiotic and why did they put them in here.

Dairy Farmers
'Protein Smoothie + Chocolate'

Just not a good chocolate flavour. Go for the other Rokeby's.

Rokeby
'Dutch Chocolate'

Decent. Could use a little bit more sweetness. Only ranked this low because of how good the competition is.

Dairy Farmers
'Classic Chocolate'

Probably my least favourite OAK. Not a trace of vanilla flavour in this.

OAK
'Vanilla Malt'

A little confused as to why this is lactose free when you'd think kids are typically best equipped to handle lactose but whatever. This would be fine if it weren't for the random kick of sweetness you get after each sip.

Norco + Minecraft
'Choc Charger'

Very artificial tasting strawberry flavour with an emphasis on the sweetness. Not bad but I'm not going to buy it again.

Norco + Minecraft
'Strawberry Slam'

This one is actually the best of the Minecraft milks. Lime flavoured milk slaps but you can never find it because I guess it sells poorly. Stop being afraid of green milk, people.

Norco + Minecraft
'Lime Lightning'

Kind of a weak fake caramel flavour. Alright opening but pretty bad aftertaste. Probably the worst of the Minecraft milks.

Norco + Minecraft
'Caramel Chug'

Strong salt, weak caramel. They should remove popcorn from the name because there's no taste of popcorn. Rated 7/10 but wouldn't buy again.

Big M
'Salted Caramel Popcorn'

The brand that makes this, Inside Out, mostly does almond and oat milks, but this is normal cow milk. This thing proudly says "no added sugar". Unfortunately the main flavour I taste is artificial sweetener. But it has pokemon on it so it'll sell.

Pokemon/Inside Out
'Chocolate'

The packaging says this is chocolate and malt, but I say this is just chocolate. It's fine, pretty strong dark-ish chocolate. Reminds me of Nedd's a bit. Cost like $6.90 which is insane (found at a lolly shop in Australia).

Mars Wrigley
'Galaxy'

Found in Hawaii. Tastes too healty.

Darigold
'Chocolate'

Kinda tastes like a zooper dooper. Not very strong.

Big M
'Blue Heaven'

Not really that bad, somewhat tastes like an up&go but with a nicer texture. Other chocolate milks are better.

Nippy's
'Iced Chocolate'

"Is alright. Tastes sorta like a lolly." - brother Jacob

Aeroplane
'Mango Jelly'

This does a good job of replicating the ice cream's flavour, but mango flavoured milk is weird. This is weird. It's done pretty well though.

Breaka + Weis
'Mango & Cream'

I like it but it's a bit weird. Probably needs more chocolate flavour because at the moment it's mostly malt.

Big M
'Maltesers'

Surprising tastes exactly like splice. But I don't think milk should taste like an iceblock.

OAK
'Splice Pine Lime'

If this was marketed as a mystery flavour, theres a 0% chance you'd get it right. No strong chocolate or caramel flavours or anything that would make you think of a Mars bar.

Big M
'Mars'

Probably the worst of the protein milks. Has a really nice aftertaste though so it'll make you think it tasted good after you finish it.

Pauls
'Plus+ Protein Chocolate'

Found at Woolies, imported from Vietnam I believe. Milk powder + water based, which I don't like. Really close to ranking this lower but the taste was fine. Just hated the texture.

Beanstalk
'Iced Chocolate'

Hall of Shame

I do not recommend these at all.

Found in Hawaii. Looks really unappetizing in person too - I was super hesitant to buy it. It's a milk powder + water drink, which immediately I'm less likely to enjoy. And enjoy it I did not.

yoohoo
'Chocolate Drink'

1/10. Do not try this.

Dairy Farmers
'Classic Banana Split'

Ok so the main flavour in a Twix bar comes from the biscuit, so this is biscuit flavoured milk. And sure, it kinda tastes like Twix, but man biscuit flavoured milk is super weird. Every sip made me screw up my face.

Mars Wrigley
'Twix'

Found at Woolies in Canberra. 5 health star rating!!! It tasted horrible. But 5 health star rating!!! Was expensive too.

Hello Sunshine Dairy
'Chocolate'

Tasted weird.

Aeroplane
'Lemon Jelly'

Sold 2021-22. Try to imagine bubblegum flavoured milk. Pineapple flavoured milk.
I hope they fired whoever came up with these. Really, really bad.

Zooper Dooper
'Raspberry/Bubblegum/Pineapple Flavoured Milk'

This isn't a normal UP&GO, that would go in mid or good. This is far worse. Also why does this contain gluten. I wasn't planning on popping it in the oven at 180 degrees for 20-30 minutes or until golden brown. Ridiculous.

UP&GO
'Protein Energize Choc Hit'